The Ghost from 1945


38 - 2008

It started with an experience I had when I was at the alpha level, a level between sleep and awakedness. I left my body and found myself in a street one evening when it was dark – the streetlights were lit. I thought I was dead, became very frustrated and thought of my dogs. I was near a pub. My grandmother was with me – she held my hand and we went into the Pub. I asked her what was the meaning of life. She then took me on a tour. We came to a school, an enormous building with a big clock on the front. We stood outside and she told me that there were several class levels and there was a meaning with everything that happened.

After the tour we sat on a sofa in the Pub. Many people stood around us. A Japanese pointed at my stomach and laughed and snikkered. I felt that there was someone behind me, turned around and there came Hitler with two guards, one on each side. He looked like a repenting sinner, looked down as he moved as if he didn’t dare look me in the eye. When I saw Hitler coming I immediately said Ugh! Horrible! As soon as I said that I regretted it, I thought that it wasn’t necessary for him to hear me say that. He seemed  very repentent for what he had done.

The Japanese said that I am to be Hitler’s mentor and all the others stood and laughed and nodded in agreement that I should do it. I objected strongly and said I’d rather die than be Hitler’s mentor. The others overruled me so I was forced to accept the situation. Hitler and I went outside  and talked but I don’t know what we talked about.

After that conversation I was finished there, my grandmother was gone and I wondered what I should do because I was dead, or so I thought. I might just as well leave, I thought, and started walking up the street, up a hill until I came to the top where I had a view of the whole city and the surrounding landscape. I came to the conclusion that I had to accept the fact that I was dead. I wasn’t getting anywhere. I knew I shouldn’t be in this place. I stretched my hands towards the sky and shouted to God: “I’m ready.” A white light came and picked me up. I felt that I was drawn through a tunnel by this white light at great speed. And suddenly I was over my body and landed slowly. When I came back to myself again I was terrified because I thought I would die soon since I was going to be Hitler’s mentor.

I became very interested in Germany after this experience. I felt as if I were a Nazi. I had to watch German movies – everything that was in German was holy for me. Movies from WWII, from concentration camps. I had a sick interest in Germany – it was abnormal. I wanted to stick my hands in German soil and hold on to it. I felt that I wanted to go home to Germany, especially Berlin, the Reich Chancellery , the Opera house. I knew what the Reich Chancellery looked like inside even though I’d never been there. I became very interested in the opera although I had never listened to classical music before. Classical music became almost like a drug for me. I listened to Ave Maria so often my ears hurt. Piano music became indeed my kind of music. At night after I fell asleep they started showing me posters (advertisement posters) for Nazi lifestyle as if it were the right way to live. Gøring sat in a big open vehicle with big shiny glamorous sunglasses as if to convince me that this life was the right one.

Then I started checking on flights to Berlin. I looked at pictures especially of Germean scenery. After this I became very egoistic and there was a very negative atmosphere around me. I stopped watching German movies because there was something in me that said that it wasn’t good to be so engulved with this. I was frightened and tried to put it at a distance, drive it away. At times I couldn’t keep myself from the movies and the music, I was drawn to it. I wanted to go to Germany and go down on my knees and kiss the earth. Germany was the best country in the world – everything else was second rate. I even wanted to buy a German dog, I felt that everything had to be German.

Deep down I knew that this was wrong and I was scared. My personality changed, I started to hate and was authoritive. This person in me had enormous self- confidence and that was good but the rest was not good.  I felt that I was possessed, that someone had taken over my body and controlled me. I started to walk differently, like a man – had political insight and knew how to get people to follow me. I was good at finding the right words to convince them. At times I was sullen and angry. I had more temperament than usual. This wasn’t me.

I liked to stretch my hand out in greeting. A strange incident occurred one day when I was driving from my apartment to do some shopping. I suddenly saw a little boy between 5 – 7 years old, standing on the sidewalk. He clicked his heels and gave me a proper Hitler salute. I was quite amazed and greeted him in the usual way. I sat and chuckled to myself for a while. This was during a period when I was trying to distance myself from all of this. It seemed that somebody didn’t like my attitude and tried to get me to understand that Nazism was right for me. If I opened a magazine you could be sure that there was something in it from Germany. It was the same with TV – suddenly something from Germany came on the screen – German language, sangs, movies. It was the same with the radio, the computer and just about everywhere I went – something always popped up to remind me of Germany.

To me the neo-Nazis were cowards – all talk and no action. If you really burn for something, do more that shave your head and think you’re king of the hill. You have to get it up to a political level and get the people with you. I met som people who collected Nazi paraphernalia – iron crosses and other things from Hitler’s time. They wanted me to become one of the Front Sisters.

At times I felt that there was something outside the apartment that wanted to come in, negative energies, dark shadows. The dogs barked more than usual. If it weren’t for my love for my dogs things would have gotten much worse.

I bought sage to clean the apartment. I put it in a shell and lit it. I took it from room to room and in every corner, spreading the smoke through the whole apartment after I disconnected the smoke detector. The last room I entered was the hallway where there is a big mirror. When I turned around and looked in the mirror I saw another person with an evil grin who said. “Do you think that will help, do you think I’ll disappear like that. I’ll stay her no matter how much smoke you fill the apartment with.” I felt strongly that he wanted me for himself, he didn’t like other people.

Mamma was very worried about me. She said I had changed and felt that there were bad energies surrounding me. She reacted to these energies and became ill when she was with me. Her personality changed too when she was in my apartment.

She called Halvard and explained the situation. As I sat and waited for him I felt that something was going to happen. I felt sick and strange inside me. I sat and held on as if something wouldn’t let me go. I was completely tense and couldn’t move. I became ill-humored because I didn’t like that Halvard came.It was almost like I had eyes in the back of my head – I followed his every move without turning my head. Deep down I knew I needed help.
First he stood by the kitchen cupboard and looked around at the energies. Moved with determined steps and stood behind me on the left-hand side. He told me that right behind me there was a small German soldier, a high-ranking one with authority. Halvard held his hands a little away from my body. I could feel a warm energy flowing from Halvard and felt like I was being wrung out like one wrings out a cloth. Something was wrung out of me. In a split second all the tension was released and I sank down on the couch, lost all controll and started to cry. It was the strangest experience I’ve ever had. After that I’ve been fine. Sometimes I feel that the spirit tries to come back but I am stronger and more aware of positive and negative energies now and can keep them away.

She was not possessed but there was a spirit that was very close to her and at time controlled her, mind to mind.

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